Jezebel, daughter of Ethbaal

 You just pick up a chord, go twang, and you've got music.

When the BBC or the Good Food Channel decide to put on a Nigella Lawson cook show on their channel, they should seriously consider muting out the audio and just leave the video on. Y'know.. For the sake of ratings at least. She is after all paving the way for the whole avant-garde culinary pornography movement. You need to actually know anything about food to be a food critic? PFFFT, this salient figure is showing women from Toronto to Tanzania that to cook a bloody good Christmas dinner, all you need are a pair of equally bloody good tits. Ginormous fucking tits. Bit like the Sid Vicious of the food industry ain't she?
Even that Lilliputian sign language man at the bottom right of the TV screen agrees with us on this one. That fucker will look northwards at every given chance to take a peek as Nigella bastes her Honeydew Melons; pun very much intended.

I seriously do question the experience she has ever had in an actual kitchen. Maybe that one time in the Jamie Oliver's pantry with all the 15 young apprentices of the Fifteen Foundation programme. She probably tossed a salad or two then.

As I am typing this, note that it is only 4:30 pm on a Sunday evening, Nigella is staring right through my TV set as she says in a worryingly slow pace : ''pleasure is something you should never feel guilty about.''
OFCOM time....

Nigella, you're a babe. But your 30 min. meals took me 2 hours.
2. Hours.

Yours Truly

Cunt